Article 3738 of alt.sys.pdp10: Path: nntp1.ba.best.com!news1.best.com!nntprelay.mathworks.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!164.67.42.145!awabi.library.ucla.edu!137.82.194.1!unixg.ubc.ca!alph02.triumf.ca!shoppa From: shoppa@alph02.triumf.ca (Tim Shoppa) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.sys.pdp10 Subject: Real Programmers Don't Write Specs Date: 23 Feb 1998 04:12:05 GMT Organization: TRIUMF, Canada's National Meson Facility Lines: 62 Message-ID: <6cqsul$og7$1@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca> References: <6cpsp0$7sv$1@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca> <6cptmg$8dt$1@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca> NNTP-Posting-Host: alph02.triumf.ca Xref: nntp1.ba.best.com alt.folklore.computers:99492 alt.sys.pdp10:3738 Circa 1983 or so, REAL PROGRS from the MC vaults. Was this really - as the line at the bottom seems to indicate - once James Gosling's finger plan? Return-path: Received: from SPA-NIMBUS by SCRC-TENEX with CHAOS; Tue 3-May-83 22:07:09-EDT Date: Tuesday, 3 May 1983, 19:23-PDT From: Richard Lamson Subject: Found in Gloria (apologies to those who get this again) To: Info-Cobol at mc Bcc: Fun at scrc Real Programmers Don't Write Specs Real Programmers don't write specs -- users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get. Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. Real Programmers don't write application programs; they program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do systems programming. Real Programmers don't eat quiche. In fact, real programmers don't know how to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food. Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications programmers. Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions. Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies. Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night. Real Programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12. Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN. Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room. Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck. Real Programmers don't write in PASCAL, or BLISS, or ADA, or any of those pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak memories. -- From Peter Capek @ YKTVMV via Mark Seiden @ dagobah **==> That was James Gosling's plan file. Article 3739 of alt.sys.pdp10: Path: nntp1.ba.best.com!nntp2.ba.best.com!thvv From: thvv@best.com (Tom Van Vleck) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers,alt.sys.pdp10 Subject: Re: Real Programmers Don't Write Specs Date: Sun, 22 Feb 1998 22:44:19 -0800 Organization: Multicians Lines: 13 Message-ID: References: <6cpsp0$7sv$1@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca> <6cptmg$8dt$1@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca> <6cqsul$og7$1@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca> NNTP-Posting-Host: thvv.vip.best.com X-Trace: 888216264 13687 (none) 206.86.0.12 X-Newsreader: MT-NewsWatcher 2.4.1 X-url: http://www.best.com/~thvv/multics.html Xref: nntp1.ba.best.com alt.folklore.computers:99495 alt.sys.pdp10:3739 In article <6cqsul$og7$1@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca>, shoppa@alph02.triumf.ca (Tim Shoppa) wrote: > Circa 1983 or so, REAL PROGRS from the MC vaults. I wrote this in 1982, after I had left the Multics group and was working in Calfornia. I was thinking of particular colleagues and former colleagues for several of the paragraphs. For example, "pipe stress" refers to a large FORTRAN program at Universal Oil Products in Des Plaines Ill, and I was thining of Noel Morris when I wrote > Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are > around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.